Definition of a Motherfucker: A Field Guide

I realized that the term needed a specific definition.  Merriam Webster was of no help stating rather blandly, “one that is formidable, contemptible, or offensive – generally term of abuse.”  Rather dry, nondescript.  Thought we could us a field guide.  So this is what I came up with:

Motherfucker (MU-THER-FUH-KER) n: (1) characterized by an objectification of, and typically either apathy or antipathy, others, especially nature and women; (2) one who typically lacks foresight or a sense of personal or social responsibility, (3) a grown man who acts like an uninitiated reckless teenager, often expecting either a maternal figure or agency to make up an alibi for his crimes, or expecting nature to clean itself so he can avoid responsibility and ready itself for further exploitation.

Etymology: a portmanteau of Mother and Fucker, meaning one who rapes and pillages mother earth

Synonyms: a toxic male, dickhead, negative phallus, malignant narcissistic entitlement

Etiology:  Motherfuckers are subscribers to an ideology of motherfucking.  It is not natural behavior.  It is rather, anti-natural.  Motherfuckers are typically men, but can very well be women who act in the interest of a motherfucking
culture.

So, we need some examples of motherfuckers to unpack this definition.  I hope that by the end of this diddy, you too will be able to spot one.

A motherfucker is someone who, for his or her own selfish reasons, be it out of insecurity, greed, or power, exploits something without scruples or conscience, and tries to get away with it.  They may think that no one will catch them, or that no one will ever know.  For instance, slave owners never thought that they would lose the war, loose their slaves or their way of life; they thought they could continue like that forever.  The men who got drunk in Eureka one day and went to so-called “Indian Island” during a Weott celebration of life in order to massacre the women and children never thought that history would know or care.   Nixon’s “plumbers,” his party operatives at the Watergate hotel never thought they’d be found out or that it would lead back to Nixon.  The Bush administration thought they were noble in lying to the public about weapons of mass destruction in order to manufacture consent for a war they invented, thinking that no one would ever find out.  The BP executives who cut corners in their supply line thought they could get by with equipment they knew was shoddy at the Deepwater Horizon, they thought no one would ever know.  The Wall Street Speculators who built a casino, using totally unproductive billions of dollars to bet on mortgages though the pretzel logic of credit default swaps never thought that there would be any consequences.  The CIA supported the mujahideen “freedom fighters” in Afghanistan, funding, along with the Saudi government, their fight against the USSR in the 1980s, never dreaming there would be consequential blowback from one of their liaisons named Bin Laden.  Ronald Reagan never realized that his selling weapons to Iran to support a right-wing Nicaraguan rebellion would point back to him.  Big carbon polluters think that they can dig up all the fossil fuel in the world, the power of a prior extinction event, and put it in the sky without extinction level consequences.  These are just a few motherfuckers.

A motherfucker is someone who, once they are caught, deflects blame, thinks that someone else will bail them out or finds another noble excuse for their behavior.  Let’s revisit our examples respectively.  A slaveowner uses passages in the Holy Bible to justify his behavior as sanctified by God.  The men who got drunk one day in Eureka and went to massacre the Weott justified their behavior in the notion that the white civilization was superior.  Nixon believed that, as he told frost, “When the president does it, it is not a crime.”  The neocons of the Bush Administration were Straussians, and justified their “noble lies” as serving the “greater good” of American exceptionalism.  The BP executives justified themselves by reassuring themselves that they are in an essential and untouchable industry; while many others believes that mother nature would “take care of it” like a mommy cleaning up a baby’s shit.  Wall Street speculators and the bankers convinced Congress, and thus the public to bail them out, telling them that they are too big to fail, and (too big to jail).  The CIA continues their black ops and adventures abroad answering to only the President, for the greater good.  Ronald Regan, and his allies like Oliver North, excused themselves with noble patriotism for the greater good, because “God is on our side;” despite, you know, the nation’s support for fascist war criminals like General Pinochet in Chile.   Big carbon polluters actually know they are causing global warming, (as in evidence by investigative journalism that Exxon has been hiding its own findings from the public since the 1970s), but tell the public it is a hoax created by either scientists, or a hidden conspiracy of international communists (as if they have any global power), so that they can confuse the public and continue to drill baby drill.  And if driven to admit this, they will say they like warmer temperatures anyway, so whatevs …

What do motherfuckers say?  Here are some quotes from a few motherfuckers:

“The Indians didn’t have any rights to the land and there was no reason for anyone to grant them rights which they had not conceived and were not using … What was it they were fighting for, if they opposed white men on this continent?  For their wish to continue a primitive existence, their ‘right’ to keep part of the earth untouched, unused and not even as property, just keep everybody out so that you will live practically like an animal, or maybe a few caves above it.  Any white person who brought the element of civilization had the right to take over this continent.” – Motherfucker Ayn Rand

“It it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”  – Motherfucker Rep Todd Akin (R-Mo), defending his no excuses stance on abortion

“The ocean will take care of this on its own if it was left alone and left out there.  It’s natural. It’s as natural as the ocean water is.” – Motherfucker Rush Limbaugh, May 3, 2010 on the BP spill

“We’re sorry for the massive disruption it’s caused their lives.  There’s no one who wants this over more than I do.  I would like my life back.”  – Motherfucker BP CEO Tony Hayward after the May 21, 2010 Deepwater Horizon spill in the
Gulf of Mexico

“My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.” – Motherfucker VP Dick Cheney, 2003 on Meet the Press

“(Reporters are in what we in the administration call) the reality-based community (which) believes that solutions emerge from the judicious study of discernible reality.  That’s not the way the world works any more.  We’re an empire now, we create our own reality.  And while you’re studying reality – judiciously as you will – we’ll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study, too, and that’s how things will sort out.  We’re history’s actors … and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.” – an motherfucking anonymous high level Bush administration official

“It became necessary to destroy the town to save it.” – Motherfucker unnamed US Army major to reporter Peter Arnett regarding the massacre of Ben Tre, February 7, 1968.

“What I’m saying is … when the president does it, it’s not a crime.”  – Motherfucker Nixon to Frost

“When you’re famous, you can do anything you want … grab ‘em by the pussy.”  And, “It’s just locker room talk.” – Motherfucker Donald Trump

Do you feel ready to spot a motherfucker on this wild safari called life?  Get your binoculars out.  When you see one, be sure to shout out to all your friends like you’re about to step on a snake, “Motherfucker!”

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